Recently, I witnessed an interesting moment while checking out at Walmart. A young associate was assisting an elderly woman who had just made a purchase. After the transaction, the associate realized she didn’t have enough dollar bills to give the woman her change—so she proceeded to hand her $18 worth of quarters instead.
At first, I didn’t fully catch what was happening (I was still cooling down from a workout and avoiding the usual long lines), but once it clicked, I had a strong reaction: Eighteen dollars in quarters? That’s 72 coins. Can you imagine the weight of that in your purse—or worse, in your pockets?
It got me thinking about transactions in the workplace.
Every time we communicate—especially as leaders—we’re making a transaction. Whether it’s between a leader and a direct report, a peer, or even a superior, we are always exchanging something: feedback, insight, expectations, support, or accountability. And just like with that $18 in quarters, some transactions feel unnecessarily heavy.
Let’s say your leadership team shares honest feedback with you about their experience working together. It may not be pretty, but it’s real. Instead of receiving it with openness, you respond with visible disappointment or defensiveness. You have every right to feel disappointed—but how you respond matters. What you give back in return may feel heavier to them than the feedback they gave to you.
If you consistently hand people metaphorical “quarters” in return for vulnerability or effort, you may be unintentionally burdening them. And when communication feels like a weight rather than a relief, people eventually stop engaging.
Now, this isn’t to say we should avoid tough conversations. Leadership requires addressing uncomfortable truths and setting expectations. But how we deliver those truths matters. If your feedback always comes with emotional tax—like misplaced frustration or unrealistic expectations—you’re piling on, not lifting up.
So here’s something to reflect on:
- Am I fair in my communication transactions?
- Do I consider the emotional and cognitive load I place on others?
- Am I matching the message to the person’s readiness and role?
- Do I lead conversations with a goal of clarity, growth, and support—or weight?
As leaders, one of our responsibilities is to de-pressurize situations, not intensify them. People grow best when they feel safe, not when they feel weighed down.
So I ask you—have you ever received a communication “transaction” that felt like someone dumped $18 worth of quarters in your lap?
Or… have you unknowingly done that to someone else?
I’d love to hear your experience. Drop a comment or message me directly. Let’s keep the conversation going.
